AUTHENTIC PIGMENT

The best sweatshirts ever, and now I've found them in hoodies. Oh happy day.

MACK & BEWICK

Once upon a time, there lived a small boy with a large truck. It was an Escalade, and at four foot just six inches, the boy was dwarfed behind its enormous upholstered wheel. That is why when Joan Allishoe's Pontiac Sunbird shot through the intersection of Mack & Bewick, the boy didn't see it or its three elderly occupants, and plowed smack into the passenger's side door.

CLOGGED ARTERIES

I've been at the hospital all day with my ex-boyfriend/friend/date-mate. He is 43 years old, and had a stent put in his heart's main artery where gunk was shutting it down. Sausage and cheeseburgers have been his dear friends; he's in mourning.

How did I wind up too old (practically) to have children, with a not-even-boyfriend who is 43 years old and has heart problems? How time flies, eh?

He's so dear to me, pretty much my main "family" member these past several years.

ABOUT ROBST

Just now presented training to 25 university and hospital workers. A new "ERP" (enterprise resource planning) system, Banner, is in town; oh, how they whine and moan over losing the blinking orange and green cursors they're used to.

Training is new for me. The delivery part, that is. Usually, I am behind the scenes, writing job aids and instructional stuffs. They laughed at my jokes; I'm getting better at this.

Tendency is a stupid word. Slimy. Like an octupus.

What flies through your approval queue?

Blogs bore me, because I want to know who I'm reading. Without that context, the prose is lifeless. Usually. I am wearing a dress. I did mescaline in the 6th grade. I am gifted. Own a house. It's shabby. I can do a lot of things.

JOKERS

People who tell jokes, how they suck the life right out of you with their expectation that you laugh. Contrary to the whole ruse, theirs is not a good-natured, easy-going hope that you'll be amused, but a judgmental demand lasered to you through their beady, alcohol-thirsting eyes.